Hi, I am selling new & lightly swatched or used items from a non-smoking home. If you want more pictures of specific items, let me know. Everything is full sized unless marked as ds.
Feel free to make reasonable offers especially for multiple items. $5.00 minimum purchase preferably. Shipping is $4.00 unless they are heavier items. I accept G&S (I cover fees). I will send tracking info as soon as I have it and will ship packages within 2-3 days.
If you would like some reviews from people I have sold to on previous posts, let me know.
If you change your mind, please let me know. I will move to next person in line after 2 hours. If you need more time than that, just let me know and we can work something out. Thank you for looking 😃
FOR SALE!!
(I have everything that has sold marked)
EYESHADOW PALETTES:
Verification • (SOLD)Charlotte Tilbury Exaggereyes palette (Only used 1 time/barely used)- Retails for $53, Asking $30
• (SOLD)Urban Decay Born to Run palette (Used 2-3x)- Retails for $49, Asking $15
• Urban Decay Naked 2 palette (Only used 1x)-Retails for $54, Asking $24
• Dominique Cosmetics Berries & Cream palette (Used 5-6x)- Retails for $44, Asking $15
• Huda Beauty Desert Dusk palette (Only used 1x)- Retails for $65, Asking $22
• (SOLD) Too Faced Natural Lust palette (Only swatches)- Retails for $59, Asking $22
• Too Faced Natural Love palette (Used 2-3x)- Retails for $59, Asking $20
• Kylie Cosmetics bronze palette (Only swatched)- Retails for $29.40, Asking $7
• Nars Atomic Blonde eye and cheek palette (Used/the 2 left shades are pressed togetheprice will reflect condition)- Retails for $59, Asking $18
• Nabla Cutie palette (Nude) (Used 2-3x)- Retails for $24, Asking $12
• Dose of Colors Marvelous Mauves palette (Only swatched)- Retails for $32, Asking $12
• (SOLD) Too Faced White Peach palette (Only used 1x)- Retails for $40.50, Asking $14
• Morphe 35I (pastel collaboration with pony park) (Swatched only some shades, some shades never used)- Retails for $25, Asking $12
• Elf x Jkissa palette (first one) (All shades only swatched except bottom left blue shade is used 1x)- Cant find retail price because it’s limited edition, Asking $10
• Colourpop Give it to Me Straight palette (Some shades never used/some used 1x)- Retails for $18, Asking $8
• Colourpop Fem Rosa palette (Used 4-5x)- Retails for $16, Asking $8
• (SOLD) Colourpop Mint to Be palette (Most shades are new/couple have been swatched only)- Retails for $12, Asking $6
• BH Cosmetics Weekend Festival palette (Used 2x)- Retails for $18, Asking $8
• BH Cosmetics Take Me Back to Brazil palette (Used 2x/some shades never used)- Retails for $20, Asking $9
• Milani Bold Obsessions eyeshadow palette (Used 1-2x)- Retails for $10.99, Asking $5
• Alamar Reina Del Caribe 1 palette (Used 5-6x)- I can’t find retail price because it’s limited edition, Asking $5
FACE PALETTES:
Verification • Tom Ford Shade & Illuminate with box and Tom Ford bag the compact comes in (cream bronzer and highlighter) (Only swatched lightly)- Retails for $88, Asking $40
• (SOLD) Dior Backstage Glow face palette in 001 Universal- (Swatched only)- Retails for $45, Asking $24
• (SOLD) Charlotte Tilbury Filmstar Bronze and glow (Used 12-15x)- Retails for $68, Asking $24
• (SOLD) Natasha Denona Bloom blush and glow palette (Swatched only)- Retails for $55, Asking $25
• Nars Exposed palette (Some shades only used 1x/some used 3-4x)- Retails for $59, Asking $25
• RMS Signature Set palette (Pop collection)(Comes with Buriti bronzer, Magic luminizer, Demure lip2cheek, Beloved lip2cheek, & Simply vanilla lip and skin balm) (Used 1x)- Retails for $44, Asking $15
• Jouer bronzer duo in Sunlight/Suntan (Used 1-2x)- Retails for $32, Asking $14
• Jouer blush bouquet duo in Coquette (Used 3-4x)- Retails for $32, Asking $14
• Juvia’s The Saharan blush palette (2)- Retails for $18, Asking $8
• Too Faced Cocoa Contour palette (older one) (Bottom right shade never used/contour shades used 2-3x/top left shade used 5-6x)- Retails for $42, Asking $10
• Anastasia Beverly Hills cream contour kit in fair- (Used 4-5x)- Retails for $40, Asking $5
HIGHLIGHTERS:
https://imgur.com/a/OXe5NUS • (SOLD) Mac x Pony Park Extra Dimension Skinfinish in Sky’s The Limit (Used 2x lightly)- Limited edition $35
• (SOLD) Glossier Haloscope highlighter in Quartz (Used 2x)- Retails for $22, Asking $9
• (SOLD) Glossier Haloscope in Moonstone (Used 3x)- Retails for $22, Asking $9
• Fenty Killawatt highlighter duo in Lightning Dust/Fire Crystal (Used 5-6x)- Retails for $36, Asking $16
• Fenty Killawatt Freestyle highlighter in Wattabrat (Only swatched)- Retails for $36, Asking $16
• YSL Lumiere Divine highlighting finishing powder- Retails for $47, Asking $14
• Perricone No Makeup highlighter (Used 5-6x)- Retails for $35, Asking $14
• Charlotte Tilbury highlighter wand in Spotlight (Used 3-4x/took sponge off of applicator because I thought it dispensed better)- Retails for $38, Asking $14
• Urban Decay highlighter in Sin (Used 4-5x)- Retails for $26, Asking $6
• Kaja Roller Glow highlighter with clean roller in packaging (Used 1x lightly)- Retails for $28, Asking $8
• Kaja Mochi Glow in Prizm (Used 1-2x)- Retails for $19, Asking $4
• Kaja Mochi Glow in Toy Alien (ds) (Used 1x)- Asking $2
• Ofra Pillowtalk highlighter (ds)(Only used 1x)- Retails for $18, Asking $5
• Hourglass Vanish highlighter in Champagne Flash (ds .05 oz) (Only swatched)- Asking $2
• Nudestix Illuminaughty highlighter stick (ds .06 oz) (Only swatched)- Asking $2
• Nudestix Skin Glossing Pencil (Only swatched)- Retails for $26, Asking $5
• Becca Shimmering Skin Perfecter Slimlight in Pearl (Used 1x)- Asking $3
• Laura Gellar Baled Gelato Swirl Illuminator in Diamond Dust (ds)(Used 1-2x)- Asking $3
• (SOLD) Pixi Glowy Gossamer duo in Delicate Dew (Used 1x)- Retails for $15, Asking $3
• Make face gloss (New)- Retails for $25, Asking $5
• Maybelline Master Strobing Stick in Medium (Swatched only)- Retails for $9.99, Asking $2
• Ulta Beauty Illuminator in Brilliant Diamond (Swatched only)- Retails for $10, Asking $2
• (SOLD) Benefit Dandelion Shy Beam (ds .08 oz)(New)- Asking $1
BLUSH:
Verification • (SOLD) Glossier Cloud Paint in Dusk (Used 1-2x)- Retails for $18, Asking $9
• (SOLD) Glossier Cloud Paint in Beam (Used 1-2x)- Retails for $18, Asking $9
• (SOLD) Buxom Wanderlust primer infused blush in Mykonos (Used 3x)- Retails for $23, Asking $10
• Nudestix Nudies matte blush stick in Bareback (Used 3-4x)- Retails for $32, Asking $15
• Ilia multistick in A Fine Romance (Used 2-3x)- Retails for $34. Asking $15
• Stila convertible color cream blush in Peony (Swatched only)- Retails for $25, Asking $9
• Tarte Amazonian Clay blush in Paaarty (ds .05 oz)(Swatched only)- Asking $3
• Benefit Dandelion Dew (ds .16 oz)(New)- Asking $2
• Ulta mineral blush in Sweet Pea (Swatched only)- Retails for $12, Asking $3
• Stila aqua glow watercolor blush in shimmering lotus (Swatched only)- Retails for $4
• Milani baked blush in Delizioso Pink (Swatched only)- Retails for $9.49, Asking $2
• Milani baked blush in Bella Rosa (Swatched only)- Retails for $ 9.49, Asking for $2
• Elf blush in Shy (Used 2-3x)- Asking $.50
BRONZER\CONTOUR:
Verification • (SOLD) Cover Fx Monochromatic bronzer duo in Sunkissed- Retails for $38, Asking $15
• Milk Makeup bronzer stick in Baked (Used 1-2x)- Retails for $28, Asking $14
• Kylie Cosmetics bronzer in Khaki (Swatched only)-Retails for $18, Asking $7
• Bare Minerals Endless Summer bronzer in Faux Tan (Used 2x)- Retails for $29, Asking $13
• Fenty bronzer in Shady Biz (ds) (Swatched only)-Asking $4
• Benefit Hoola (ds) (Used 2x)- Asking $2
• Make dew pot in Bronze 2 (Used 4x)- Retails for $20, Asking $3
• NYX Micro Contour duo pencil in Light (Swatched only)- Asking $2
• Milani baked bronzer in 04 Glow (Swatched only)- Retails for $8.99, Asking $1
POWDERS:
Verification • Fenty Invisimatte blotting powder (Used 1x)- Retails for $32, Asking $14
• KKW brightening powder in 1 (Vanilla) (Used a few times)- Retails for $18, Asking $10
• (SOLD) Jaclyn Hill Cosmetics Mood Light luminous powder in Dew Me- (Swatched only)- Retails for $32, Asking $15
• Laura Gellar Baked Balance N Brighten powder foundation in Porcelain (Used 10x)- Retails for $34, Asking $7
• JCat Aquasurance powder foundation in Ivory (Used 3-4x)- Retails for $13.99, Asking $4
• Urban Decay Velvetizer mix in medium (ds .14 oz)- (Can use as regular powder) (Used 1x)- Retails for $17, Asking $4
• Ilia Fade Into You soft focus finishing powder (ds .05 oz) (Used 1x)- Asking $3
• Ilia Fade Into You soft focus finishing powder (ds .05 oz)- (Used 1x)- Asking $2
• Rimmel Stay Matte pressed powder in Creamy Natural (Used 6x)- Retails for $4.69, Asking $1
• Milani Prep, Set, Glow illuminating transparent pressed powder (Hourglass finishing powder dupe) (Used condition)- Retails for $9.99, Asking $1
FOUNDATIONS:
Verification • Fenty Pro Filt’r Matte longwear foundation in 120 (only used once)- Retails for $35, Asking $15
• Smashbox Studio Skin 15 hour wear foundation in .2 (Used 3-4x, bottle is about 7/8 full)- Retails for $38, Asking $13
• Laura Mercier Flawless Fusion Ultra-Longwear foundation in 1C1 Shell (Used a few times, bottle is almost full)- Retails for $48, Asking $15
• Laura Mercier tinted moisturizer in Porcelain (Used 2-3x, almost full)- Retails for $46, Asking $15
• Laura Mercier tinted moisturizer in Nude (ds .5 oz) (Used 1x)- Asking $2
• RMS Uncover Up foundation/concealer pot in 000 (Used 5-6x, a little over 3/4 full)- Retails for $36, Asking $14
• It Cosmetics YSBB full coverage CC Cream in Fair (a little over half full)- Retails for $39.50, Asking $9
• (SOLD) Estée Lauder Double Wear foundation in 1C0 Shell (Used 2-3x)- Retails for $43, Asking $15
• Makeup Forever Ultra HD foundation stick in Y225 (About 40-45% remaining)- Retails for $43, Asking $7
• Makeup Forever Ultra HD foundation stick in Y225 (About 20% remaining)- Retails for $43, Asking $4
• It Cosmetics Bye Bye Redness Neutralizing Correcting cream (About half full)- Retails for $34, Asking $7
• Loreal Infallible Total Cover foundation in 301 Classic Ivory (40-50% full)- Retails for $12.99, Asking $1
• Maybelline Superstay foundation in 112 (Only used once but the pump is stuck so it is hard to get foundation out without opening bottle/price will be lower because of this) (Used 1-2x)- Retails for $11.99, Asking $2
CONCEALERS:
Verification • Glossier Stretch concealer in G11 (about 7/8 full)- Retails for $18, Asking $9
• Dose of Colors Meet Your Hue concealer in 01 (used a few times)- Retails for $24, Asking $8
• It Cosmetics Bye Bye Undereye full coverage concealer in Light (used a few times)- Retails for $27, Asking $12
PRIMERS:
Verification • First Aid Beauty Hello Fab coconut skin smoothie priming moisturizer- Retails for $29, Asking $13
• First Aid Beauty Hello Fab Pores Be Gone matte primer- Retails for $29, Asking $13
• Milk Makeup Hydrogrip gripping primer (ds) (used 1x, mostly full)- Retails for $15, Asking $5
• Laura Mercier radiance primer (ds .5 oz) (Used 1x, mostly full)- Asking $2
• Becca First Light priming filter (ds .5 oz) (Used 1-2x)- Asking $2
• Maybelline Master blur stick primer in universal transparent (Used 1-2x)- Retails for $7.99, Asking $1.50
EYES/BROWS/LASHES:
Verification • Pat McGrath Dark Matter pigment- Part of the dark star labs set which was $95, Asking $15
• Huda Beauty Matte & Metal double ended liquid eyeshadows in Wednesday and Fro-yo- Retails for $25, Asking $15
• Melt Cosmetics single eyeshadow in Rubbish (Swatched only)- Retails for $17, Asking $9
• Glossier Boy Brow in Blonde (Used 1x)- Retails for $16, Asking $8
• Nudestix Magnetic Luminous eye color stick in Copper Foil (swatched only)- Retails for $26, Asking $8
• Nudestix Magnetic eye color stick in Twilight (swatched only)- Retails for $26, Asking $8
• Nudestix Magnetic eye color in Lilith (used 1x lightly)- Retails for $26, Asking $8
• Nudestix Magnetic matte eye color stick in Putty (swatched only)- Retails for $26, Asking $8
• Nudestix Magnetic matte eye color stick in Taupe (used 1x lightly)- Retails for $26, Asking $8
• (SOLD) Nudestix Nude Artist tin box- Asking $2
• Tarte Chrome Paint shadow pot in Top Yacht (swatched only)- Retails for $22, Asking $8
• Nars Velvet Shadow Stick in Hollywoodland (used 2x)- Retails for $20.30, Asking $6
• Stila Glitter & Glow in Perlina (ds) (used 1x)- Retails for $12, Asking $3
• Stila Glitter & Glow in Sunset Fire (ds) (new never used)- Came in set, Asking $3
• Stila Magnificent Metals foil finish eyeshadow in Metallic Gilded Gold (swatched lightly)(comes with box and mixing medium)- Can’t find retail because it’s discontinued, Asking $4
• Colourpop Zodiac loose pigment in The Crab (used 1-2x)- Retails for $6, Asking $3
• Colourpop single eyeshadow in Checkmate (comes in compact) (swatched only)- Retails for $4.50, Asking $2
• Colourpop SSS in Bandit (used 2x)- Retails for $6, Asking $1.00
• Colourpop SSS in Cornelious (Broken/price will reflect condition)- Retails for $6, Asking $.50
• Colourpop SSS in Brady (Broken/price will reflect condition)- Retails for $6, Asking $.50
• Colourpop pencil eyeliner in Mr. Bing (new)- Retails for $6, Asking $1.00
• Colourpop pencil eyeliner in Besto (used 5-6x)- Retails for $6, Asking $.50
• The Balm Batter Up eyeshadow stick in Outfield (used 1-2x)- Retails for $17, Asking $2
• The Balm Batter Up eyeshadow stick in Slugger (used 1-2x)- Retails for $17, Asking $2
• CoverGirl x Katy Perry Katy Kat Wink lashes in Kat Whiskers (New in box)- Asking $1.50
• Revlon brow mousse in Soft Brown (new)- Retails for $10.99, Asking $.75
• Revlon brow mousse in blonde (used 1x)- Retails for $10.99, Asking $.50
• Revlon Colorstay Bold creme eyeshadow in Cognac (swatched)- Retails for $8.49, Asking $.75
• Revlon Colorstay Bold creme eyeshadow in Merlot (swatched)- Retails for $8.49, Asking $.75
Lips:
Verification •Glossier generation g in jam- (older version) Never used, swatched 1x lightly on back of hand- Retails for $18, Asking $8
• Kylie Cosmetics lip kit in Koko K (no box) (new)- Retails for $27, Asking $12
• Nars Tonka lipstick (new with box but I just got it in the mail recently and it was broken on the bottom so it can fall out of tube and also the top is a little smashed so price will reflect condition)- Retails for $26, Asking $5
• Mac Lustre lipstick on See Sheer (More of a lip tint) (swatched 1x lightly on back of hand)- Retails for $19, Asking $8
•Mac cremesheen lipstick in Creme D’ Nude- never used, swatched 1x lightly on back of hand- Retails for $19, Asking $8
•?Mac amplified lipstick in Saint Germain- never used, swatched 1x lightly on back of hand- Retails for $19, Asking $8
• Urban Decay cream lipstick in Wired- Retails for $22, Asking $8
• Rodin luxury lipstick in Dahlia- never used, lightly swatched once on back of hand- Retails for $38, Asking $10
• Benefit Benetint (new)- Retails for $30, Asking $8
• (SOLD) Benefit Double the Lip lipstick & liner in one in Lusty Rose (swatched lightly on back of hand)- Retails for $20, Asking $4
• (SOLD) Benefit Double the Lip lipstick & liner in one in Nude Scandal (swatched lightly on back of hand)- Retails for $20, Asking $4
• Nars Velvet Matte lip pencil in Do Me Baby (ds .06 oz)- Asking $3
• Ofra liquid lipstick in Nude Potion (new)- Retails for $20, Asking $
• Ofra liquid lipstick in Verona (new)- Retails for $20, Asking $ • • Kat Von D liquid lipstick in Crucifx (used 2-3x)- Retails for $21, Asking $3
• Kat Von D liquid lipstick in Hawkwind (new)- Retails for $21, Asking $4
• Dose of Colors liquid lipstick in Flirty (new)- Retails for $18, Asking $
• Jeffrey Star liquid lipstick in Christmas Cookie (ds) Asking $3
• (SOLD) Fresh Sugar Poppy tinted lip treatment (ds .07 oz)- Asking $2
• Lipstick Queen lipstick in Medieval (ds .05 oz)- Asking $2
• Colourpop lippie stix in Little Tings (swatched)- Retails for $7, Asking $2
• Colourpop Ultra Metallic lip in Varsity Blues (used 1x)- Retails for $7, Asking $1.50
• Inc.redible rollerball glows in Choose Your Happy (new)- Retails for $10, Asking $1.50
• Maybelline shine lipstick in Baddest Beige (swatched)- Retails for $7.99, Asking $1.50
• Bite matte cream lip crayon in Glacé (ds) (swatched)- Asking $1
• Ella & Mila glossy liquid lipstick (New in box)- Retails for $14, Asking $1
• Nyx butter gloss in Sunday Mimosa (Used 1x)- Retails for $5, Asking $.50
•Loreal lipstick in Doutzen’s nude- Used 1x lightly, sanitized- Retails for $8.95, Asking $.50
•Covergirl x Katy Perry Katy kat matte lipstick in cosmo kitty- Used 1x lightly, sanitized- Asking $ $.50
• Nyx matte lipstick in pale pink (Used 2 times)- Retails for $6, Asking .50
BRUSH SET:
Verification • (SOLD) Set of brushes- Morphe M153, BH Cosmetics #1 pink brush from set, 2 Sonia Kashuk mini eye brushes, 2 Coastal Scent brushes, Mr Handyman brush, 1 Motd concealer brush, 2 AOA oval brushes, 2 random brushes- Asking $6
NAIL POLISH:
Verification • KL Polish in Wishbone- Retails for $8.50, Asking $6
• KL Polish in Casino Night- Asking $6
• (SOLD) KL Polish in Gemini- Asking $6
• KL Polish in Winter is Coming- Asking $6
SKIN:
Verification • (SOLD) Make succulent gel (a little over half left)- Retails for $25, Asking $4
• (SOLD) The Ordinary Caffeine Solution (new)- Retails for $6.70, Asking $3
• (SOLD)Nip Fab Dragons Blood Plumping serum (1 oz) (used 1x)- Asking $2
• (SOLD) Kate Somerville Wrinkle Warrior 2 in 1 plumping moisturizer and serum (ds .25 oz) (new)- Asking $1
• (SOLD) Earth to Skin super fruits blueberry exfoliating cleanser (1oz) (new)- Asking $.50
• (SOLD) Earth to Skin super fruits citrus day gel cream (.5 oz) (used 1x)- Asking $.50
• (SOLD) Proactive Green Tea moisturizer (ds .33 oz) (used 1-2x)- Asking $.50
submitted by RR link Previous chapter (RETRO COSMOS)
#2 - THE TWISTED HEIST
A star had just gone out in the distance, sending its entire system, planets and moons, into oblivion. So, what was a simple life compared to a sun? Did the human existence that earthlings highly cherished in the past deserve so much fuss?
I would say no, of course, because I’m a cat. Our condition to us felines will never have to pale in front of a shiny astronomical object. Mine specifically, don’t you think?
Oswald Avery was merely a Homo sapiens. A retired buccaneer, fermenting his adulterated wine on the carcass of a drifting supercargo; all under the remodeled features of a former Galactic Trade Company’s pilot. Alas, regardless of the genetic disguise, the FID rarely lied. It hadn’t fooled us and the masks had fallen off. Just like him.
I’m such a poet.
Anyway… Avery had had a long life of crimes and adventures. He was full of energy in his youth. And as in the universe, nothing is lost, nothing is created, everything is transformed, this energy was reincarnated in a nice amount in our bank account once the old picaroon flatlined.
“We finally got it! And it was a traditional Martian contract. Payable remotely, on condition that the FID is validated. How about that?”
“God… Lee … you’re talking to yourself and it’s only 8 a.m.,” Ali grunted behind me.
My couch potato of an associate had her head still stuck in the cereal box she was nibbling before falling asleep binge-watching Captain Caveman on ABC.
“To begin with, it’s 8 p.m., Martian Time. And we do have a positive balance in our bank account for the first time in months! Do you know what that means, partner?”
“Shopping, bitches!” she shouted as she hurled herself into the void, gliding to the bathroom in the weightlessness.
With the cardboard box on the top of her head, this sugar bishop was swimming after the remnant cereals that floated on her path like Ms. Pac-Man.
“Hell! Have I just opened Pandora’s box?”
The liner Danaë and its forty-eight post-nuclear Baltimore-XVIII heavy reactors made its annual cruise from Lunapolis to the suburbs of Ceres, in the belt. Its figurehead with the effigy of the Greek princess was a two hundred meters long, green ceramic statue. The size of the ship exceeded some inhabited asteroids’ diameter so it possessed its own substantial gravitational field.
“It’s quite a symbol of the decline of humanity,” I said to Ali, pointing with my chin at this unique work of art.
“Why?” my partner asked without caring whatsoever. “Spill the beans, Plato.”
The Kitty had obtained permission to dock and began its approach. I concluded then:
“Humanity no longer erects great and beautiful things without turning them into a shopping mall.”
The gold and ivory Danaë was one of the most luxurious epicenters of human decadence in the system; comprising hotels, casinos, megastores and amusement parks spread over a dozen centrifugal rings. There was something for everyone’s wallet, ready to be emptied, whether one was welcomed at the port or had joined during the crossing.
And to my great regret, the cape of the Danaë was just passing by us that week.
“I believe we should keep our savings for the maintenance of the Swallow. The dashboard lights up like a Christmas tree. Some parts need to be changed…”
“You’re such a bore with your adult talks,” my partner said as she left the fitting room of a luxury chain overlooking the main deck. “What do you think of that? Sexy as fuck, right?”
Her camisole didn’t hide a single inch square of flesh and I subtly pointed it out to her:
“It’s a bit of a back-alley Sally.”
I took a blow on the nose which, this time, was amply justified.
“There’s nothing chicer than Borderline. You don’t know anything about fashion. It’s crazy!”
She was furious. It was entertaining. But she was right. The human female fads were way over my head and I wasn’t a good adviser. Mostly because I didn’t care. At all.
Fortunately, the upscale shopping mall where we were staying had provided us with a free assistant who was even more servile than a decerebrate canine. As usual, the robot carrier that accompanied us did the job by flattering her with its unbearable honeyed tone:
“I find you charming, Madame. Here we have the latest fashionable lingerie on Mars. It’s an ephemeral collection that appears to have been specially made to mold your discreet curves, which seem to have been sculpted by the seraphim.”
Ali gave me a satisfied look that I pretended to ignore. Then she backtracked into the fitting room to put her black suit and pink jacket back on.
I took the opportunity to climb on the shoulders of this silly robot, servant of our servants and last link in this hierarchy whose origins go back to Ancient Egypt.
“One more move like this and I’ll turn you into a gum dispenser.”
The automaton apologized before my partner’s head emerged from behind the silk curtains which were far too fragrant for my taste.
“I just checked; it’s too expensive anyway. I ain’t buying it,” she announced. “Can you order a taxicab to take us to the hotels’ ring? You’d be a sweetheart.”
Happy to leave this irascible human with her robotic slave, I proceeded to the nearest service terminal. By the time I requested a vehicle, a flying cigarette dispenser could light me a Lucky.
“It’s forbidden to smoke in our store, Monsieur.”
The customer attaché, in his blue silk suit with elephant legs, had appeared out of nowhere. Yet, with such a shiny tie, this punk should have dazzled me from the Kuiper belt.
“Please be kind and get me a Pepper Coke instead of ruining my eyesight…” I grumbled in response.
I was in an awful mood. I definitely hated shopping. And people. Yet the pedestrian avenues of the Danaë had a very exceptional population density. Perms were making a strong comeback, as were neon tattoos and overly open flowered shirts. Under the false UVA/B sun, it was a true dance of flesh, steel and plastic bodies with assumed nudity. Implants and surgery erased the hazards of the genetic lottery for better or worse. It was so superficial. So futile. So human.
“Hello, handsome!” Ali cried out, a large smile across her face. “Lee? You didn’t tell me you knew Christophe Lambert! You know I'm a huge Highlander fan!”
My partner had just joined me, arms loaded with bags massive enough to live in it, start a family and park my chromic Pontiac Firebird. All were filled with C$400 t-shirts and sneakers that she didn’t need and would only put on once.
“No smell. Hologram,” I conclude by throwing my cigarette butt through the smiling ghost.
“Shame!” Ali sighed.
She then looked at her terminal, and continued:
“Do you think I have time to grab a watch module? There are sales in the Japanese aisle! I saw some GD-8 that would go well with my new Game Pocket! This boat is fucking rad!”
Ali could not stop humming Who wants to live forever. I had to rub my temples to avoid a migraine before the arrival of our taxicab five minutes later.
These were miniature limousines with double fake leather benches, facing each other at the back. There was a minibar with expensive multicolored drinks and sugar-soaked snacks, the sapiens’ primary source of calories and high Gs space travel drug. For the sensitive, the smart-fridge provided diet sodas with aspartame, but no one took it. Finally, there were free Gauloise cigarettes next to the ashtray on the armrest. And even Tylenol!
“What a time to be alive!”
Right after leaving the fashion district, a soft voice of a young woman, who appeared to us through the armored porthole separating her from her customers, finally emerged from the cockpit:
“Good evening! I’m Miss Meera. At your service. Hotel de Saint-Malo, correct?”
I nodded. She smiled at us. She was beautiful with her incredibly dark night metal skin that contrasted strongly with her silvery-white hair. She also had charming ivory eyes with absolutely no reflection. They were a mesmerizing void of light.
In fact, it was so rare to deal with a real person, and not an AI, that we engaged rapidly in a lovely and honest discussion with Meera. We were mostly talking about life on the Danaë. As she stated, the rules on board were very strict, even military. All was done to make sure that the customer had the most pleasant time at the expense of everything else. Finally, according to her, her condition wasn’t the most to be pitied in the cosmos. And she was fully satisfied with this precarious semi-nomadic existence.
“And what about you? Are you here on vacation or in transit for work?” she eventually asked. “What do you do for a living?”
Should we have told her that we were executing infamous people so Ali would collect expensive t-shirts and I could fulfill my nicotine addiction?
“Don’t get me wrong but I saw that you had a gun. Are you in the police… or are you pirates?”
It wasn’t the first time someone asked us this question. Although weapons were allowed on most ships and stations, it wasn’t wise to display them unless you were looking for trouble. Unfortunately, hiding such a large caliber under such a tight vest was a Herculean task.
“You can get much farther with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone”, simply quoted Ali, her forehead against the window covered with scented stickers.
Meera laughed before continuing:
“Very well, Al Capone. I understand that you’re not the type to let yourself be taken advantage of.”
The taxicab entered the central expressway after the water park then suddenly swerved violently to the left.
“What is going on?” I gasped.
After crushing the safety railing, we fell from one rotating bridge to the other in a frantic cavalcade. Judging by Meera’s swear words, this ride wasn’t part of the show.
Avoiding the stalls of an art market and a group of children coming out of an arcade, the driver finally managed to recover in extremis. It was about time, because within seconds we were passing through the transparent protective wall of the hotels’ deck.
“A thousand apologies! Another one of those mor… clients from the Middle System who doesn’t know how to use a rental car,” she shouted through the window. “Are you guys hurt?”
“No, thanks to you,” I replied, my tail spiked over my head, taped to Ali’s neck now decorated with bloody scratches.
Although my human forehead now had a bump on it the size of a golf ball, it was true that Meera had just saved our lives. This young girl had unsuspected driving talents despite taxicabs’ lack of handling. She didn’t belong here, playing the steward in a yellow circus uniform. This woman should have been a fighter pilot; or a NASCAR driver on Canyon Creek.
“In any case, here you’re almost in front of your hotel,” she replied. “You don’t have to pay anything, and I apologize again for the scare.”
From the outside, the taxicab now looked like a can of nutrigel after going through a crusher. Yet, it still worked. May God Darwin bless Venusian steel.
After thanking her, we wished Meera a good day. But the cockpit window suddenly went down on the passenger side. The smile of the driver had faded. She had tears at the corner of her white eyes.
“Wait!” she asked. “This weapon… do you really know how to use it?”
So, life on the Danaë wasn’t so sweet. As Meera explained to us in a secluded alleyway, a trio of criminals had come to threaten her a few days earlier, after finding she was a bodacious driver. They were preparing a heist in one of the flying city’s fifty casinos. The young woman was now ready to pay the price to settle the case.
“What is your opinion about this whole situation?” I asked Ali, once in our room, a small yet cozy suite whose glass walls overlooked the vacuum of space.
My human had applied a brownish ointment on her hump, which disappeared soon after, leaving only a slight pinkish hematoma.
“Meera said she would provide us with more details tomorrow. However, if she ponies up the cash, I don’t see why we would refuse. We ain’t mercs but these three guys must have a bounty on their heads. Let’s do our job, right?
“Indeed…”
All we had to do was wait for more instructions. Fortunately, it had been months since we had been able to take days off except on miserable gas stations full of drug addicts, implants scavengers and prostitutes.
After another morning of shopping, Ali went to the thalassotherapy center of the neighboring hotel. Her main occupation? Overeating sushi made by 3D nutrigel printing while getting massages.
Alas, I didn’t have the time to bask under the false sun of the lakeside resort and get my belly stroked. As a good captain, I had to go to the maintenance to fix the numerous damages of the Kitty. As always, the bill would be higher than expected.
Everything was orchestrated so that we would never hold a positive balance in this corrupted system. We had to chain contract after contract.
But Meera’s gig didn’t sound right. There was something I didn’t like and I couldn’t catch it yet. All my cat sensors were in the red. Unfortunately, the bounty hunter’s ones only saw the green of the bills.
Don’t judge me.
The young taxicab driver had finally contacted Ali again by holoconference in the early afternoon, shortly before I joined her at the exit of the tanning booths. Or as I called them: human toasters.
“Have you finished roasting like a Thanksgiving turkey?” I asked her as she plunged into the icy water of the adjacent basin, under the lustful gaze of a group of cadets from the Marine Academy.
“Meera will pick us up with a new taxicab in the hotel parking lot,” she whispered once back to me. “Alongside her, we will meet two of the criminals at the burglary location, shortly before midnight.”
“Go on.”
“We take care of these guys and we catch up with the last one: the band leader, in the storage cavities of the hangar reserved for the ship’s logistics. Below the last rotating ring.”
In Eve’s costume, Ali came out of the basin, not without deliberately drenching me. The water had a nasty chemical taste from being filtered day after day.
“Do you have any intelligence on these jokers?” I insisted while lighting a cigarette.
“The Broadway Gang. Three brothers. C$45,000 for the trio. We will also be able to recover at least C$10,000 of Techno-federal tax on their ship depending on its condition. Easy cash with the dollar credits that Meera promises us…”
Now sitting on the ledge, my partner splashed her feet to demonstrate her eagerness to head back swimming.
“Excellent! This will pay for the maintenance and allow us to save some money on our way to the belt.”
“Can I go now?” she asked, sliding back into the water.
“You may,” I had concluded before seeing her leave for her absurd wanderings that would fill her afternoon.
I myself was very busy making eyes at the wealthy guests of the hotel restaurant to glean a few pieces of Peking duck or juicy crabs. They were real farm animals from Mars. Not nutrigel. It was worth abandoning a little dignity aside.
With a full belly, I finally joined Ali in the middle of the evening. Arriving in the corridor of our suite, I crossed the group of cadets noticed near the swimming pool. They seemed tired but blissfully smiling as they just discovered the nirvana. And I knew why…
“Ali? Are you ready?” I said as I walked through the half-open bedroom door.
Her dressing gown had been thrown on the floor. Her gun and badge were resting on the bedside table against a giant bottle of Koala Springs soda and a pyramid of little Yoyo Mints.
To be honest, I expected a bigger mess.
“Gimme five minutes,” she replied while in the shower.
An hour later, we met Meera in the staff parking lot behind the recycling stations. Without further discussion, we joined the expressway in the taxicab. Between two noisy info-ads, the radio played Sweet Transvestite then the rest of the mythical Rocky Horror soundtrack.
“I wonder what Tim Curry’s up to these days,” asked Ali while browsing the intraweb on her implant.
“Being legendary as usual,” I answered.
Afterwards, the casino was in sight. But once on the forecourt illuminated by the gold and silver bulbs, we heard gunshots and screams. My partner and I quickly realized that this was a violent robbery rather than a modest heist.
“What the fuck, Meera?” Ali asked, turning to the porthole that separated us from the cockpit.
There was a hint of irritation in her voice.
Meera remained mute, her hands on the wheel and her gaze forward. In the rear-view mirror the young woman looked panicked.
The right door of the vehicle suddenly opened and two men sat down in front of us. They were wearing theater masks: the first was Melpomene, the sad grimace of tragedy; the second, Thalia, the twisted smile of comedy. Each brigand carried a huge metal block under his arm; drawers that were sure to be full of cash. On the other hand, they held their still smoking ZeG-4 machine guns even more firmly.
When they saw us, they both gasped, in unison:
“What the fuck, Meera?”
One… two. One… two.
Four holes in their faded tuxedo. Four bullets as big as a cat’s eye that silenced them forever, before slowly repainting the bench in red.
“What the fuck was that? You killed them!” Meera shouted this time, as she started the electric engine. “You had tasers at your disposal, you psychos!”
She had finally turned around. Her voice was quivering. She was no longer panicked, but angry.
The tasers must have slipped between the seats because I hadn’t seen them. My partner raised her eyebrows and it made me realize that their use had never been in mind.
“We’re bounty hunters, not 9 to 5 social workers!” continued Ali. “Now, you gotta motor, otherwise the cops will shoot our ass on the spot before we could even meet the third dude!”
Meera put her foot on the pedal and one could almost hear the noise of the thrusters melting the white asphalt.
“I can perceive the sirens, Ali,” I concluded before Meera entered the ring's external road reserved for logistic transport.
We then had the shortest car chase we had taken part in. The Danaë security forces may not have had the best elements in the system, but Meera’s talents didn’t give them a chance. We had crossed half a dozen rotative bridges to the rhythm of Take on Me, zigzagging between expressways and maintenance tunnels to arrive before the song ended at the deserted logistics hangar.
It was similar to a huge supermarket with honeycombed shelves. Each of these garages, dimly illuminated by red LEDs, housed a delivery or transport vessel. There was the most impressive fleet I had ever seen.
In one of the first level’s cells stood, between a set of clamps, a Swift-0 scout, from Peugeot Corp, with wings spread. The Swifts were small and very high-end single-seaters. They could be modified to integrate weapons systems, but their primary characteristics were velocity and evasion.
Leaning on the flank of the mono-turbine, the last of the three criminals, a tall blond man with a “Chevy Chase” prominent chin was looking down on the approaching taxicab.
“Were they planning to escape on that ship? The three of them?” I remarked when the vehicle stopped a few meters from the small vessel.
But Meera ignored me.
“Hand me the money, I’m going out. That was the agreement.”
The porthole opened at its base, allowing us to pass the steel cash drawers. Once the taxicab’s ignition was turned off, only their holographic numbers glowed in the dark.
“It’s all over if his cronies don’t stick their noses out of the car,” Ali replied, finally giving the second drawer away. “He’s going to figure out that it went south. He will kill you!”
Outside, the man was getting impatient. Blinded by the taxicab’s headlights, he came closer before exclaiming:
“Zéphyr, are you there? Where are my brothers? Security is closing all the departure modules. We will be stuck here, for fuck’s sake!”
He now had a gun in his hand. A machine gun identical to those of his companions currently bathed in their blood, nailed to the seats.
“Zéphyr? Wait… I know that name!” I meowed to myself.
The doors and portholes of the taxicab were locked. Ali and I were now stuck in the back with the two flatlined and most wanted criminals on the ship.
“Sorry guys, but I’ll handle the rest.”
Miss Meera, alias Zéphyr, smiled at us through the armored glass just before leaving the cockpit by the driver’s door.
“What a fucking piece of shit… Lee? Do you have a plan? I think the windows are bulletproof. I don’t feel like testing. Especially if it’s bouncing around with us inside, we will be turned into ground beef!”
“Did you forget who I am, my dear?”
I was already crawling under the seat, between a pair of Méduse shoes and half nibbled fried rat wings. It was time to demonstrate all my infiltration skills learned from Ninja Gaiden. Unfortunately, both the crab and the duck slowed me down and my belly remained for a few seconds stuck under the driver’s seat with my head on the brake pedal. How outrageous!
From the porthole, I saw Ali watching what was happening in front of us, near the ship. Our eyes met for a brief moment and I could read on her lips: “diet kibble”.
“Better off dead!” I shouted.
My paw reached the bottom of the dashboard, activating the mechanical opening of doors and windows. And, accidentally, the loudest horn in this dimension.
“My bad!”
My sapiens immediately jumped outside, pointing her gun to Zéphyr. Surprised by the thunderous din, her target pivoted towards us, uncovered, turning her back to the human with the magnificent chin and his ZeG-4 who yelled:
“What in the whole universe is that? Wait! I know her! Did you bring us bounty hunters? You were clearly planning to double-cross us!”
The man shouted and his gun produced a rain of bullets. It first hit the windshield of the taxicab, passing through the conductor compartment where I was. The rounds bent the windscreen, but it held. This wasn’t, however, the case for the hood, protecting the engine and the reservoir full of coolant, which ended up covering the seat and my face.
Fortunately, the sticky alcohol allowed me to escape from this trap and jump out of the vehicle through the window I had previously opened. But, once again, a fire ring enveloped the ZeG-4’s cannon.
“This is how I die…” I meowed, eyes closed.
I was violently tackled and hit the ground. Zéphyr had saved me at the last moment, just before bullets obliterated the front of the taxicab.
Other projectiles ricocheted off the metal money drawers on the floor and got lost in the ceiling, activating the fire sprinklers. This incident triggered a silent light alarm throughout the hangar while the mobster prepared a new salvo.
“Don’t hurt my pilot, you narbo!” roared my partner.
Ali, this time taken as a target, retaliated. She fired a single shot towards the rascal with a formidable precision. No one knew how to handle such a heavy gun as she did. She was my human. She was the best in her field: murder.
And I taught her everything. Almost.
The leader of the robbers tried to reload the magazine of his weapon, unaware that his heart had been punctured a few seconds before. Adrenaline was doing its job. But the blood loss caused by the explosion of the aorta at its base, near the ventricles, gradually stopped him in his gesture. His pressure dropped and the bloodstream no longer reached the brain sufficiently. He was already in a coma when his shoulders touched the ground. He was luckier than the average Joe and died a few seconds later.
“Is everything all right?”
My voice was trembling, still in shock from this disaster. I was wet and frozen.
Zéphyr got up with difficulty. Next to us, one of the metal drawers was opened, revealing a bunch of green bills and a much stranger booty: an eight-inch gold diskette with suspicious Chinese symbols.
Well… I couldn’t read them but Chinese symbols on stuff are always suspect, aren’t they?
But there were more important matters. Because my partner, on the other hand, stayed on the ground. Blood was dripping from her black suit and mixed with the clear firefighting fluid that was falling like an endless rain.
I tried to talk to her again but my voice was lost in a groan.
“Why are you whining, you big baby? It’s just blood.”
With her nose in a puddle, my sapiens smiled at me. Her left hand was compressing her abdomen. The bullet had passed through the external oblique muscle, far from the stomach.
It wasn’t that bad after all but she had scared me. And that deserved a scratch on the wrist that made her scream:
“What the fuck?”
“And the medical expenses? Have you thought about medical expenses? We don’t have insurance!”
“God, Uncle Scrooge! I hate you!”
“We won’t be able to fix the Kitty with your heroic outbursts!” I fulminated to mask my joy of seeing her in one piece.
“I will kill you, Muppet! I almost died! I don’t give a fuck about your rusty trash can which flies like a brick!”
It was true that we hadn’t had a fight for a long time.
“Guys…” intervened Zéphyr.
“What?”
Ali and I had spoken together.
“These three ruffians had planned to steal the diskette drive from me once I got back. I needed a hand, so… thank you… I guess.”
“You’re welcome,” my human answered dryly while sitting.
Although Zéphyr saved me, I didn’t share the same kindness:
“Wait, we’re not letting him go! Do you know who he is?”
Zéphyr. Prince of thieves. And yes, he wasn’t much of a princess either. Just an androgynous cyborg. A breakout king wanted throughout the entire system for his affiliation with the Data Brokers’ Guild. With an incredible bounty of C$800,000, she or he… whatever… was the knight of the brokers’ chessboard.
“I think we’ve had enough for today,” Ali said. “Unless you hope to go after him with these big fat guts of yours.”
“By the 79 moons of Jupiter, you shall pay for this, woman!” I meowed, angry.
My ears were backwards and my hairs were spiky. But soaking wet, it just made Ali and Zéphyr laugh.
Disgrace!
“He’s so cute when he’s furious,” he joked.
Now on his knees, the night-skinned androgynous was blotting Ali’s wound with a torn piece of fabric from his driver’s uniform.
“But more seriously, I need to go. With the bounty, you’ll be able to repair your vessel. As for the hospital fees, I will contact a good friend who will take care of you for free. She’s the ship’s chief medical officer.”
“Thank you,” I simply replied as he helped my partner get back on her feet.
“It’s the least I can do. I wasn’t interested in money. More important information is contained in this,” he said as he was picking up the floppy disk.
This golden diskette must have been worth a lot of cash for Zéphyr to play a taxicab driver to ensure coverage. I had perceived that something was fishy!
Then, halfway to his Swift-0, Zéphyr stopped. I witnessed his hesitation.
“There was nothing personal, you know. We’re all just trying to make our way. The best we can…”
And he ultimately left before adding:
“Maybe we’ll see each other again! You seem like fun.”
Before fleeing away, Zéphyr abandoned one of the boxes near the criminal’s corpse. Thus, he validated the theory of a robbery that had gone wrong. When the security arrived a few minutes later, we were the heroes of the day. And with a little bribe, nobody cared about Zéphyr’s missing ship.
This whole story surely left us a bitter taste. A feeling of defeat and humiliation that the swimming pool under the synthetic sun couldn’t make disappear even a week after.
“He undoubtedly played us as we were rookies, with his little face of a young innocent girl in distress,” I said to Ali right after the end of the daily Brett Maverick.
This old show was dispensed on a couple of giant screens suspended by drones.
Until now, Ali had remained silent on her deckchair; with a brick of sour juice stuck between her breasts and a pair of straws between her teeth. Only inaudible grunts emanated from her mouth since the departure of the sexually unclassifiable mugger.
“I wonder what information this fucking cyber-Tootsie could have been looking for in that casino,” my human mumbled as she squeaked her rainbow flip-flops.
“Admit that it’s not really that question that puts you in such a state…” I answered, now well installed on my motorized buoy that I had gotten as a gift in a diet kibbles package.
“You bet! I will have a nasty tan mark on my stomach with these bandages!” she exploded, spitting out her plastic straws with infinite curls.
My float slipped towards the ledge as a robot came to bring us our next glucose overdose.
Ali finally added:
“I swear that if we run into him again, I’ll smack his fucking angel face.”
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